Where to start with Buddhism?

I have been very curious about buddhism for some time now, but have no idea where to really start to learn more about it.  Do you have any suggestions?  

Are there books you would recommend to learn more?  Lizzy

Hey Lizzy, the teachings of Buddha have been endlessly interpreted and while it is more possible than ever before to study pure texts with Tibetan teachers, I have received great benefit from a more recent lineage of teachers from the US who have absorbed the classics in depth and fully understand how to support westerners with our 'special kind' of daily struggles, in our real lives.

I offer here some highlights or gems from my personal dharma (knowledge and practice) library. I hope that you enjoy and use this material as a 'way in' to finding the teachers that are exactly right for you.

Firstly go to Tara Brach and find her audio material and videos which she shares freely, though accepts donations. She is active on YouTube and also has her own site. She has issued a couple of very powerful books, but the audio is an easy way in.

Tara addresses addiction and all kinds of psychological distress with warmth and compassion and teaches these skills, its the way out of suffering, well it has been for me.

John Welwood is also fantastic, you may have to dig a little deeper to find his material. Buy any of his books as he writes prolifically and you can pick them up used for a few dollars.

All John's book emphasize the same message, he speaks to our core wounding; 'the wound of the heart' and indicates a very graceful way of healing that and hence improving our relationships.



Sharon Saltzberg is another teacher who is mature, well established, respected and relevant. She writes and speaks with authority about loving kindness, a core Buddhist teaching.

Kristen Neff is newer to the field and is coming more from an academic perspective than as a teacher of dharma. Her work is an unpacking and examining of a key Buddhist trait - and essential component of self healing: self-compassion.

This overall approach is broadly about a merging of Buddhism and psychotherapy, (another tradition I have richly received from and am about to start training in).

And has really helped me to identify, dissolve and release some very real and pernicous situations I have carried around and repeatedly created for myself as heavy and painful burdens for too many years.


Buddhist dharma has gifted me a kind of practical support I could not find in yoga, which is oriented towards self-realisation. These teachings are helping me to understand and unlock my true nature, how to relate to myself and others with kindness and acceptance and how to cope with the changing conditions and challenges of every day life in a constructive and positive way.

I hope that this will be of benefit to you
Be happy, be well!

Jennifer

Links as mentioned:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqPCcFTP_kY
A short video which gives a flavour of Tara's approach

www.tarabrach.com/audiodharma
All of Tara's talks for free, with a section for those new to meditation.

www.soundstrue.com/podcast/healing-the-core-wound-of-the-heart/
Excellent interview with John Welwood

www.amazon.com/dp/0394721829
'Awakening the Heart' is John's magnum opus, but any of his book are excellent

www.insidepersonalgrowth.com/2010/11/podcasts/podcast-240-the-force-of-kindness-with-sharon-salzberg/
Recommended audio interview: Sharon Saltzberg discusses the meaning and value of kindness

www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Beating-Yourself-Insecurity-Behind/
Kristen Neff's helpful and easily readable guide to self-compassion

The temple of God is within your soul

 

 

The temple of God is within your soul. 

Enter into this quietness and sit there in meditation with the light of intuition burning on the altar.

There is no restlessness, no searching or striving there. 

Come into the silence of solitude, and the vibration there will talk to you with the voice of God.

And you will know that the invisible has become visible, and the unreal has become real.

Parahamsa Yogananda

An elegant summation of the true aim of yoga by a great, good, generous, frankly gorgeous yogi who has done so much to transport and translate the gifts of yoga from east to west. 

I feel the deep truth of his words resonating throughout my being -a lovely feeling.

Hari om 

Jennifer

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
And try to love the questions themselves 

Don't search for the answers,
Which could not be given to you now,
Because you would not be able to live them

And the point is, to live everything
Live the questions now

Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
You will gradually, without even noticing it,
Live your way into the answer

Rainer Maria Rilke

For me this piece translates the subtle, beautiful feeling that flows from a deep acceptance of circumstances; the recognition of grace at work. The presence of love guiding and healing and moving all things.

Releasing the tension of trying to fix and correct circumstances, the falling back into trust and patience- ahh... and allowing the resolution to unfold, much as in a deep opening in a yoga pose that can only really come from softening rather than striving.

Om shanti - Jennifer

An audience with Swami Muktananda, Anandashram

Rangoli outside mauna mandir

Madam, after breakfast tomorrow you go to Swamiji  

Instructed the receptionist, handing me a key to my room and a copy of the daily schedule. I had just arrived at Anandashram, a short rickshaw ride from Kanhangad railway station in Kerala and the conclusion of five days and four nights of travel.  

Thus, the following morning I approached Swamiji’s private quarters, wearing my cleanest, most modest outfit, hair tied back and feeling a little nervous.  

Swami Muktananda, the current spiritual head of Anandashram in Kerala, south India, is a modern man; fluent in English and a qualified allopathic doctor. I was gestured into his office, joining two other newcomers, a middle aged housewife from Kalicut and a Dutch guy from Utrecht.

We sat on the floor facing Swamiji at his desk.  He smiled warmly and started to speak, a fluent, unrehearsed welcome speech, explaining the spiritual position of the ashram and offering guidance to us. It was a relaxed affair, much like being in the presence of a friendly headmaster.

At times Swamiji would pause to answer the telephone Hari Om? And to personally greet a number of day visitors bringing donations, children to be blessed, health complaints and spiritual queries before him. An elderly male ashram resident sat beside him on a plain wooden chair, slowly turning the pages of the Times of India, murmuring and nodding without looking up.

Looking down towards reception

The problem is we have contracted into ourselves. We have some fixed notions that we should be able to get over. 

We are attached to our rights and wrongs, our likes and dislikes, our priorities, our differences, our cravings, our infatuations, our fixed opinions. 

Spirituality steps in there to keep us expanding. Spirituality means love. 

The spiritual discipline in this ashram is chanting of God’s name. If we keep chanting with total faith and devotion, a process of purification takes place. Things will get opened up. Interconnectedness, interdependence, absence of otherness. 

 It does not matter which name you chant. What is important is the name stands for Love.

As we keep chanting God’s name, the hold of me and mine will get loosened, lessened. 

And when sufficiently we have progressed, first he will give us some glimpses. Then he has promised that the stage will come when we get stabilized.

Then we get to see Him in the form of Love in everybody, the air we breathe, the earth we stand on, the water we drink, the space in which we move about, the sun. 

One of three mahasamadhi shrines

Plants and trees, birds and animals, even objects. All!   

The dress you are wearing, the specs he is wearing, the chair, the building, the fan, the light, the switch.  

When we are buying a new shoe we should do it with gratitude, anything and everything is an object of Love, and an object of God and is serving us. 

We can become aware of this. Let us try to practice that. Everything is serving me. Love, love, love, love.

How do I pay back?  I can bring in a quality of care and concern for others into my life. Love becomes love only when it is applied. Every thought, word and deed should bear the stamp of the Divine.

To love all is the true bhakti of God, to serve all is the true worship of God. It’s a tall order. Let us keep it as an idea and strive towards it, as much as possible.

Whenever we fail, whenever we forget, whenever we are off the track, this nama pulls us up.

We should express our gratitude for having been made aware of a higher form of living inside.

Great teachers of Anandashra are honoured

The succinct simplicity of Swamiji’s words impressed me. I was struck by how relevant they are to me at this time and how appropriate a message for humanity. 

In particular,  I have deepened, expanded my perspective on gratitude. Yes! I can be grateful for this chair I am sitting upon and the craftsmen who made it. 

I thought how useful it would be to invoke this deep gratitude in moments of doubt, stress, insecurity. One can simply open one’s eyes and appreciate every material item in one’s purview, no matter how familiar or banal.  Divine essence pervades all forms was my personal, private revelation.

And I like also Swamiji’s explanation of the contracted and expanded self. I reflected upon the irony of  expanding consumer capitalist society that fosters contraction of the self and a small, selfish world view. Where individual priorities and preferences become so important that we struggle and fight to maintain them.

And the truly expanded self requires less and less, is more able to be open to others: to share, collaborate, create and love/

Such ideas have been kept alive in India. Honoured, discussed and nurtured in ashrams and temples,  the light of truth and practice has remained lit across centuries and millennia. Gurus such as Swamiji contain and transmit this knowledge, through prayer, teachings, writings and individual assistance.

The Mother's peace garden

Meanwhile, in the west, we are rediscovering this wisdom and building our New Age.

The higher truths are filtering into western consciousness en masse via our own gurus, such as Eckhart Tolle and Louise Hay, who are able to present the material in a way we can relate to culturally.

One no longer has to travel to India to find enlightenment, but there is something very special about being here and witnessing the continuum of  teachings.

Once again I find myself in deep awe and respect, humbled by the magnificent spiritual civilization that is India.   

I am grateful to be received here again and again with such goodness and generosity and to find the guidance that I need.

Jennifer

www.anandashram.org

When travelling, new friends can be angels

Gratitude for friendship

My friends in the UK are spiritual allies and confidantes, especially in Glastonbury where the town functions as a loose sangha  or community of seekers.

I am grateful for the ongoing support, acknowledgement and inspiration of the many wonderful Avalonions I have met and especially those few for whom the days and weeks have deepened into months and years of knowing and relationship.

Like precious jewels, these friendships have been polished with understanding, tolerance, deep listening and mutual respect. I cherish my friendships.

Out on the road, so to speak in India,support from home comes largely through cyberspace and also the power of intention, I can remain connected to my friends through holding them in my mind and heart, sending a vibration of loving-kindness, of sincere wishing for their highest wellbeing and happiness, whatever the situations and circumstances.

I know that they are doing the same for me and it is a great feeling to rest into the awareness with profound gratitude.

Part of leaving home for extended periods is about trusting that it is safe to leave, that I am sufficiently internally well-resourced to take care of myself and that I am Divinely protected: the higher, loving forces of the cosmos are assisting me at all times.

And usually when travelling I will meet special people,  special in the sense that they seem to be the right person, in the right place, at the right time with exactly the right form of help or guidance that is required.

I had been ill for a couple of days. No fuss or drama, a digestive disorder that came and departed swiftly. On one level I might attribute it to the unrefridgerated, unpasteurised Yak cheese I sampled in a local bakery (pungent, creamy and delicious!)

From another perspective my immunity was weakened due to travel, change of climate and diet, lack of sleep and so on and my wonderful intelligent body was imposing a full stop and bed rest. What else to do but surrender?

I was semi-delirious and slept well, drifting in and out of consciousness as the nine day Navratri festival reached a climax. Yards from my room in the Sant Seva Ashram, an enormous effigy of Durga was lowered into the Ganga with an insane amount of fireworks, bells, clapping, chanting and devotional ecstacy. I could Emotionally as well as physically I was feeling exhausted, scared, lonely and fearful and tearful.

Grace and beauty: Ruth- Anne

The following morning, Ruth - Anne, a beautiful and graceful american who I had befriended on my first day in Laxman Jhula, knocked on my door to find out how I was doing.

Her eyes were clear, bright and friendly and she held me in a genuine loving presence, bathing me in her open, soft awareness. This was my medicine: a simple, yet profound act of caring and kindness.

I was deeply touched that this new acquaintance would pause her day, take time to show up for me, an act of true generosity. It was a tender moment, I felt my heart swell and receive the warmth and nurture being offered.

Ruth-Anne was my angel, I honour and thank her for her timely action. Maybe we are all angels for each other?

May we always continue to experience the gifts of friendship wherever we are !

Jennifer

 

Stress, Spirituality and the Shift

How are you doing? Enquired my housemate, genuinely concerned. I am preparing for a long trip overseas and there is much to be done on a practical level.

I'm ok, really ok My words came as a complete surprise to me! As my thoughts aired through speech I hardly recognised myself: I felt calm, peaceful and relaxed.

How could this be? I had so much to do! I had not managed to keep up with my to do list, I had experienced a couple of setbacks earlier in the day.

I had every reason to feel stressed, emotional, anxious and overwhelmed. And yet.... I felt good! This was new and unfamiliar.

I'm no stranger to stress: stress has permeated and coloured most of my life. I witnessed my parents overworking and projecting their frustrations onto myself and my siblings, which we duly internalised. I then created lots and lots of stress for myself as a young adult. Firstly through setting and achieving seemingly unfeasible academic goals. And then spending  years collecting promotions and taking on increasing levels of responsibility in inner London education. I eventually burnt out, retraining in holistic arts: yoga and bodywork.

Yet the stress followed me into my new life; unseen and silent, I let stress continue to devour me and drain my energy on all levels.

Stress is the plague of the modern world, who doesn't suffer from stress? Sadly, stress is the norm and accompanies much of our daily experience.

I have come to know stress pretty intimately. My definition would be a set of physiological and emotional responses to challenging conditions. 

Typically, there is a feeling of overwhelm, of circumstances being out of control, of lacking the time or resources to meet the situation. Being unable to cope. Caught in a stress reaction, we fixate and magnify the situation out of all proportion and risk spiralling into a vortex of negativity.

In my work I have become skilled at relaxing the physical body, it is useful but not enough. On my journey of healing I have come to see that holistic therapies and bodywork can only take me so far; right now the work is taking place on the inner level.

Stress is a choice, a reactive pattern, we have repeated time and time again that we assume it is a fixed response. We don't realise we are choosing it:  we feel as though it is choosing us. Because it is a choice, we have it in our power to change our response and transform our relationship to the situation.

My practise is is to avoid tipping over into the stress reaction and inhabiting the stress zone which wreaks havoc on the body, emotions and causes a detachment from spirit, a separation from the inner being,  a shut down. This is quite simply too high a price to pay.  And I no longer consider stress to be inevitable, I challenge its hold over me and my life force.

I am suggesting that the antidote to stress is TRUST. An inner knowing that circumstances will regulate themselves, that we can cope and all will be well, even though we don't in the present moment know how. The universe, divinity or one's own higher self will ensure a positive outcome.

Todays example: I had ordered a pair of walking shoes online, they were a real bargain and alas when arrived they didn't fit. I started to tell a negative story,  They don't fit, this is terrible! I can't afford an expensive pair, I don't have left enough time to get a replacement sent out, it's my fault and so on. I started to embroider in everything else I had to do, there simply wasn't enough time!  I could feel myself on the verge of panick and anxiety.

I caught myself, detached from the reaction and told myself a different story: It was going to be so easy to organise a refund, I was dealing with a retailer who always gave superlative customer service. I would find another pair of walking shoes, I didn't yet know how, but I knew that the Universe would bring me a solution.

Peace dawned on me: I knew that everything was going to be ok. Letting go of stress is a huge deal. When I am able to do this, I feel lighter, freer, calm and relaxed. The real me!

I am learning to let go of the paradigm of the supremacy of the rational mind, whereby we expect to solve all our problems by thinking and planning, skills which only work some of the time and leave us mentally and emotionally exhausted and ultimately unsatisfied.

I choose to let go of  struggle

In expanded consciousness, we live an integrated spirituality,  broadening one's understanding to include a benevolent cosmic force that is always on our side and operating to produce the highest good for all.

Which means that the poor, long overburdened thinking mind no longer has to bear the full weight of responsibility for our decisions and choices in life. Everybody wins!

This is the shift in awareness that humanity is currently being asked to make: Do we choose a fear based reality (stress) or love based reality (trust)? The loneliness of the illusion of separateness or the joy of co-creation?

Which do you prefer?

Blessings of calmness and clarity

Jennifer

Taking Time Out for Myself

Enjoying quiet time at home

I'm getting good at listening to myself, understanding and honouring the messages from within. For the last couple of weeks I have felt the need to rest at home quietly and spend time with myself.

This is quite beautiful, as it resonates with the rythmic cycle of the seasons and the slow yet obvious sloping away of energy as we turn to face the autumn equinox and beyond that the darkening into winter in the northern hemisphere as we rotate away from the sun.

I have a practice of self-honouring and self-care, by which I mean I commit to looking after myself, as a sacred contract, which I renew daily in the form of prayer, meditation or affirming intention.

This subverts years, decades of patterning and behaviour during which the opposite was true; I gave up listening to myself, I was woefully unaware of my true needs and would override any inner messages that managed to get through.

I made everything more important than myself; work especially, also other peoples needs. I had a definition of my own needs which tended to decrease rather than support health: the mixed blessings of the modern age which mercifully we are now waking up and reconsidering: status, shopping, rich food and all kinds of indulgences.

My physical and emotional self suffered and eventually collapsed under the strain, leading to recurrent episodes of chronic fatigue, burn out and depression. My spiritual self was ever present I guess but buried within and lost to me; I was lost to myself.

Early signs of autumn: time to turn inward

I have loved myself back to health and happiness and reconnected with my inner being. Staying true to my whole self is a full time job and even now, I can feel guilty about prioritising my clear and obvious need for rest and quiet time, when I feel that I should be engaged more actively with the world.

This success mentality, the attitude of doing, imposing goals, timetables and outcomes leads to imbalance not only in the individual experience but collectively too. Its a big one to shift and I need to acknowledge myself when I intervene and act preventatively. Which I am beginning to do more easily.

So when I received two potent dreams on consecutive nights, both indicating fatigue I knew I had to stop. Firstly, a refridgerator fully iced in; my laptop embedded within, frozen. Either I was going to seize up or I needed a break from writing and the internet.

Secondly, wading uphill in Glastonbury town, through knee deep water feeling too tired to continue: meaning I was getting  burnt out in town; time to pull back.

This time, the guilt was minimal and I allowed myself to enjoy this special time; a retreat at home.

Living in a small and interconnected dynamic community of Glastonbury, complete seclusion was unrealistic. Two days into my exile, even the meter reader from the power company felt the need to tell me, unprompted, all about her healing experience at Chalice Well!

I am getting comfortable with setting personal boundaries. I have let go of worrying that friends will feel excluded or rejected. I say; I'm taking a some time out at home, I'll give you a call in a few days and we can do something lovely together.

I get positive feedback on this, such as Wow you are really looking after yourself, or I should really do that! Take good rest

Nurturing the Inner Self

So I keep my home clean and uncluttered and bring in fresh flowers, burn incense and candles, throughout the day. The computer is resting too, unplugged. I meditate upon deities; Shiva and Ganesha, the Goddess of the Ganga. I practice yoga asana, I chant and pray.

I rest deeply in my own presence, giving myself the quality time and attention I deserve.

I sit in the garden, face upturned to catch the still warm delicious golden rays of the Spetember sun. I forage  in a nearby abandoned orchard, collecting armfuls of tiny apples, blushed pink.

I recall how I sang bhajans under a particular tree with friends in early spring as the blossoms were forming and we looked forward to the summer ahead.

Eschewing electric light, I take myself to bed as the sun sets, free of the restraints of clock time and rise before dawn, opening the doors to receive the day.

Early morning walking the circumference of Glastonbury Tor and receiving the energising morning prana as the sun's appearance burns away the mists of Avalon while still sleepy sheep huddle against the slopes of this holy hill.

My dreams became more vivid and my ablity to feel deeply and receive intuition becomes heightened, I begin to feel restored.

Then the call back to a fuller engagement: the feeling of wanting to connect and share with others. The urge to write and a wonderful dream: of newly de-cluttered kitchen cupboards, I open them all to find order and spaciousness and there is an accompanying feeling of contentment and wellbeing: Meaning I have created some much needed internal space.

I am now ready to resume and rejoin the flow of life, relaxed and feeling peaceful once more. I wonder what's next....?

Intentions and affirmations

I listen with love to my body's messages (Louise Hay)

My intuition is always on my side

My dreams are a valuable source of wisdom  and guidance to me

I give myself permission to slow down and stop

I take really good care of myself at all times

Tine with myself is precious and wonderful

My friends are understanding and supportive of my needs

It is safe to let go

I am nourished by quiet time with myself

Why not give yourself permission to slow down and stop?

Peaceful blessings,

Jennifer

Welcoming wet weather

Kitty is unimpressed by wet weather

Let the rain kiss you.  Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.  Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

Langston Hughes 

UK weather always makes for great discussion. Summer 2011 has been hot, balmy, raining, windy, and chilly; changing erratically and frequently, often from hour to hour. Definitely wild and wonderful.

Yesterday it rained a lot. Car-free with an active outdoor lifestyle, I have little choice but to engage with the weather, on the weather's terms.

Much as a barometer, conditions outside permit me to gauge my prevailing mood. As I awaken and open my curtains to reveal the new day, am I irritated by the overcast dawn sky or acquiescent?

In truth, I do enjoy the cooler climate of a British summer. I can be active without overheating and I quite enjoy the variety and unpredictability of weather. I have fond memories of living low impact and watching our ducks as it rained. Traversing the field with joy and enthusiasm, lustily quacking their contentment as they investigated small pools and crevices where water collected; gargling and bobbing with delight.

Christopher Robin explores a large puddle

Young children also show the way. Look, there's a big one! Exclaimed my six year old neighbour as he and his gang stormed a series of puddles which were forming on the pavement. The rain was a good thing! An opportunity for even more fun, adventure and laughter!

As we move through life such playful attitudes tend to harden into annoyance and cynicism. Cycling through Street, I witnessed small clumps of pedestrians protecting themselves under shop awnings; their faces speaking of dismay and discontent.

The inner voice appeared: To be afraid of the weather is to be afraid of life.  Fundamentally all weather is good, it is given to us with love from Mother Earth. There is a bigger picture, we can see it if we choose to widen our view; the weather isn't happening to us; we are part of an integrated living biosphere and our localised experience is part of a powerful, dynamic self-regulating system, deep and wise and intelligent.

Rain gives us an opportunity to rise above thoughts of duality and negativity: sunny weather = good; wet weather = bad. Such thinking is never helpful and keeps us in a state of disconnect from our true, loving  spirit. 

Keep smiling and carry on

Summer is as much as anything a state of mind; I bought  a beautiful bouquet of sunny golden and orange flowers, to evoke the warmth and light of the sun; instant upliftment.

I took an awesome swim in a near empty outdoor pool. The warm steam rising, the rhythms of  breath and  moving water under moody grey skies made for a very lovely experience.

Lifeguards sat stoically under large umbrellas in bulky cagoules and us few swimmers smiled at each other, acknowledging our happiness and good fortune.

I have a pair of waterproof trousers that fold small that I carry around. When I wear them I feel fearless and intrepid, quite childlike. I can greet the rain with glee and positivity, I can keep going, it's just different, that's all. The gentle summer rain is a blessing;  a thousand sweet kisses falling on my face.

Later in the afternoon I joined friends at a poetry gathering in a mongolian yurt on the lower slopes of Glastonbury Tor. The theme: Earthmatters. The rain was powerful, striking the canvas forcibly, thunder and lightning echoing outside the thin skin. This added a dramatic dimension to our chants, stories and songs, a natural percussion.

A reminder that we are supposed to be living much much closer to nature and all the elements. Changing weather is a dance that we are invited to participate it and not hide away from behind heavy walls and technology. Everything can be fully felt and celebrated. An invitation to presence and aliveness. 

Wet is a physical sensation, just as dry is. A contrast. Modern lives protect us from such extremes and I wonder whether in our search for maximising comfort something primal and vital been lost. 

It's only rain and I love it.

Your thoughts?

Jennifer

  

Self-love as spiritual practice

What does self-love mean to you?

I posted this image on my personal facebook and received a torrent of positive feedback from friends. I decided to sit with the question What does self-love mean? 

Self-love is a complete statement that requires no qualification or definition. As an idea or concept it is fully satisfying in and of itself. I find it pleasing, comforting to roll the phrase around my consciousness. Invite the vibration in now for yourself. Self-love,  I love myself  How does that feel? Pretty good yes?

In a recent, powerful dream I stood  alone in the centre of a room, surrounded by menacing invaders, growing closer and closer.  My heart was a glowing pink crystal pulsating in my chest and I was affirming I love myself, my heart is open.  In the dream I grew tired, but maintained my defences. 

Meaning? Positive loving thoughts and an open heart create a steady centre from which to keep negativity at bay. Maybe my psyche is reflecting back to me the results of my endeavours, hours and hours of positive affirmations, listening to teachings and soul work. My heart chakra is working! Its an upgrade from dreams of being chased, terrorised and hunted down by evil assasins. I'm also using the dream as a teaching, a reminder of how to behave towards myself when feeling stressed or challenged by life.

Nourish yourself with the vibration of love

I have experienced self-love as a state of being, a feeling spontaneously arising within. Words can't always justice to such powerful sensations but maybe self-love is something like warm honey flowing from the chest and emanating throughout my whole being. I feel happy, secure and cared from and I am grateful that my inner being and myself are consciously connected and communicating. 

Equally, self-love can be an attitude, a perspective, something to be cultivated. A choice to be made, moment to moment. Something I can choose to defer to, to invoke, to meditate upon, to summon from within. In other words a spiritual practice in its own right.

I am getting better at watching my thoughts, and in particular thoughts about myself that are critical, harmful and judgemental. Negative stories I am creating and reinforcing. On one hand, yes witness them, give them space and detach from them, I can also choose to love myself as well. Love can always be invited it as a higher presence.

Example, five minutes ago as I am blogging this, a neighbour knocked on my door, asking to use my printer. Right now? I asked, I'm in the middle of writing something and I want to keep in the flow.

Green Tara

Apparantly it was urgent. We had recently reconciled following several weeks of low level energy draining tension. I wanted to preserve this newly hatched and fragile harmony and capitulated. 

Suddenly this guy was in the bosom of my private space and I felt mad! Angry with him and myself for having weak boundaries. Why did I let him in? I should have been firmer. I was really, really upset.

I recalled the dream and summoned the vision of the pink crystal heart I love myself, My heart is open In the moment I couldn't extend to loving and accepting him, it was enough to work on myself. This is always enough.

Alongside more vigorous sounding virtues such as courage, confidence and passion, self-love could seem softer and passive, yet it is profoundly powerful. Self-love is a core skill, much overlooked but now featured on the curriculum of  humanity's great re-learning, it certainly shows up regularly for me as a soul teaching.

What are the attributes of self-love? Sharon Saltzberg, esteemed Buddhist teacher speaks of kindness in her book The Force of Kindness, I feel that she could be speaking of self-love when she says, 

I really do believe that it is one of the most powerful forces in the world and liberates us and helps to free others... 

 It's a quality of attention and care, a steady presence in our lives of unconditional caring.

We are all quite capable of it, it's a capacity inside for wisdom, kindness and connection, that is never ever destroyed. It maybe covered over, maybe hard to find, maybe hard to trust, but it's there.

We are returning to that capacity, we are learning to abide there and to nurture it, to really bring it forth into our lives.

Suggested practices for self-love:

Lotus mudra

Open yourself to the idea of self-love, allow yourself to know that you can get there, results will follow and that the practice is worthy in its own right, regardless of outcome.

Discipline and commitment are required.

Self-love and I love myself are affirmations to be used as a mantra: Focus your mind upon the phrase, concentrate and repeat, internally or aloud.

I sometimes practice without words, invoking the feeling of self-love directly as a sensation.

Use mudra, sacred hand gestures, to direct the flow of subtle energies around the body. All mudras are good, Lotus mudra, is great (pictured) Keep hands level with the heart centre, fingers lightly touching. Variation: spread both hands wide and place flat across the heart area, left below right. Inhale and exhale through the heart to strengthen and purify.

Beautiful music assists in opening the inner portals. As I write, I am listening to Celestial Yoga from Johnathan Goldman's album Inner Light.

Kwan Yin

For full cosmic power, work with a deity, Green Tara, the Buddhist mother goddess of compassion was my first thought. Kwan Yin is another female boddhisattva represented across Eastern traditions and is said to dwell in the heart centre. 

Energize your practice by lighting a candle, burning incense.

Repeat your mantra inside your head last thing at night as you fall asleep and in the morning upon awakening, before you open your eyes. At these times the subconscious mind is most receptive. 

Rose quartz crystal is associated with love and heart healing, I have one beside my bed.

Thank you for reading. I hope that this is helpful, there is so much to explore around the idea of self-love and I would like to keep this conversation flowing. I warmly invite you to comment and add your personal experience, below or via email.

Blessings from the heart

Jennifer

www.sharonsalzberg.com Lots of free resources and links to purchase Sharon Salzberg's materials

www.healingsounds.com Musician and sound healer Johnathan Goldman's site

Singing for the Inner Child: New Workshop

Free child in nature

The inner child to me represents the most alive and feeling part of myself. A deep joy to be present with.

My inner child communicates with me through dreams, creativity and play and through strong emotion. Feeling scared, threatened and vulnerable are all signs that I am connected to this soft and sacred part of myself and I honour and cherish all my precious feelings.

If overwhelmed, threatened or rejected my inner child might withdraw, shut down, hide away. This produces an immediate deadening or numbing of my consciousness and can be accompanied by reactive, negative, self-destructive behaviours.

Through years of healing and self-discovery across many modalities I am really, really pleased to me mostly living from a state of self-connection with the occasional disconnect; I recognise that for most of my life the opposite was  true. What a gift to be living and co-creating with a divine, magical child!

My inner child responds positively to nurture of all kinds: a clean and comfortable home, the sanctuary of bed and bedroom is especially important. Opportunities to play in nature, to touch and feel the textures and sensations of leaves, twigs, stones and water.

Most of all my inner child requires for me to create a loving environment within myself. I need to emanate a vibration of kindness, acceptance and compassion and flood every cell of my body with unconditional love. Negative emotions directed from myself to myself are especially toxic to the inner child who is vulnerable to shame, blame, criticism and judgement.

I surround myself with loving friends, in effect a soul family, who reflect and amplify loving feelings back to me and encourage my inner child to stay present in the world. My inner child is learning that the world is a safe, enjoyable place to be. It is ok to self-express, my contributions are valuable, I am loved and appreciated: I am good enough and I matter!

African Lullaby workshop June 2010

A huge, huge part of my healing journey has been through patient and persistent repetition of positive affirmation; reprogramming core beliefs. 

And singing, the inner child loves to sing. I have gathered a wealth of devotional and medicine songs from many traditions, ancient and modern from all over our beautiful planet.

Songs mostly learnt in singing circles, passed orally. Often in nature, blessed by sacred elements: the ocean, sunset, around a fire.

I have selected a number of songs to pass on, with the focussed theme of Singing for the Inner Child. This workshop is not offered as a healing or as medicine, although I wish for all who attend to experience benefit. My intention is to gather a small group of people within a safe, held space. To create the conditions for the inner child to show up and receive nurture and positive affirmation.

Singing strengthens immunity, gladdens the heart and these simple songs take one out of the mind and into the heart. It is beautiful to be open, trusting and to share with others.

Musical talent or prior experience is definitely not a pre-requisite! We come as we are and all are welcome! I invite you to listen, receive, relax, participate as you feel appropriate.

This workshop is offered with love, in service to love and for the highest unfoldment of good for all.

I hope you can join me at  New Holistic Camp 2011 where I will be holding this circle during the gathering.

This workshop is likely to be repeated in Glastonbury in late summer. Keep an eye on my schedule for updates.

If you would like me to bring this workshop to your event, gathering or camp I welcome invitations! Contact me or leave a comment below.

New Holistic Camp website www.new-holistic.co.uk

Further resources for Inner Child work:

Louise Hay Forgiveness and Loving the Inner Child audio download
Inner Child Tarot
Music of Shania Noll
Books by Charles Whitfield
R E Jenemy's YouTube channel