Celebrating health with positive role models

Jennifer Aniston: naturally healthy at 42

Evidence of positive shift is everywhere.  The received notion of degenerating health, onset of chronic disease and incremental loss of vitality as we age is completely unappealing and redundant. New concepts abound, such as longevity, wellness and anti-aging.

Of course there are plenty of statistics pointing to increasing levels of obesity, diabetes and heart disease. Alternatively, one can focus attention upon what is going well, is improving or has become radically transformed. And not just in holistic circles; mainstream media is reporting the changes; the Daily Mail last week claiming  forty five is the start of a golden age of health.

Today I choose to acknowledge and celebrate the new wave of women in their forties and beyond who embody radiant health and aliveness and show us the way to journey through life with the ease and freedom.

Jennifer Aniston is such a person and one of my role models. I don't covet her wealth, wardrobe or celebrity status. I am impressed by her clear commitment to her health; her discipline, that she has made her wellness a priority. Jennifer expresses a glowing natural radiance and is so at ease in her body appearing happy, confident and relaxed.

It is often remarked that Jennifer is improving with age. What a great concept! Jen looks good and enjoys after looking her body. She adopts a steady, sensible and holistic approach to exercise and diet.

Elle McPherson is often cited in discussions of fitness, health, beauty and aging. Her success also has a spiritual grounding:  I eat a lot of organic food and drink lots of water, and I take time for meditation to set up my day. Beauty comes from within'

I just watched a short interview with Jennifer recorded yesterday for Good Morning America. How does she keep fit? Spinning, yoga and circuits... Keep it moving!  And why? I feel better when I'm fit, it changes your energy and your spirit.

Yes, yes and yes again. I too love to move and be active, my body thrives when I exercise and I know that keeping fit is a dedicated act of self-care.

Feeling inspired, I called my local gym to enquire into classes. With strong mid summer solar energy I am seeking a fitness challenge. Something to add variety, to have fun and be playful.

I spoke with a dynamic and enthusiastic personal trainer, named Sarah, whose passion poured out during our phone conversation. I'm fifty and I feel great. I teach a number of challenging classes, you should try my kettle bells workout.  

Sarah eulogized about the benefits of exercise. I nodded and uh huh'd . It was a vitality boost just speaking with her and she generously offered me a couple of trial classes. Another role model! I am looking forward to meeting her.

Affirmations:

I am vibrant and healthy

I am glad to be alive

My body is thriving

Every cell of my beautiful body radiates health and wellness

I love to exercise

Resources:

Daily Mail article  Why 45 is the start of a Golden Age of Health
Elle McPherson article 
Interview with Jennifer Aniston  on You Tube 
Train Station Gym, Glastonbury
Dr Christiane Northrup holistic physician with expertise in women's health

Notes on practice

Here are some photos taken at a private group session at the weekend. I have annotated  them with some thoughts and comments on the poses.

Parsvottanasana Intense side stretch pose

A strong pose. Lengthens the spine, strengthens the legs, opens the shoulders. It may be more appropriate to hold the elbows rather than inverting the hands in prayer pose.

Maintain and establish a steady base by balancing bodyweight between the left and right legs before exhaling forwards.

Explore balance: if the legs wobble, raise the body up.

Keep attention in the upper arms inviting the shoulder blades to move closer together.

Janu sirsasana head to knee pose

Notice the range of flexibility within the group. It is important to watch the mind and not strain and stress the spine by forcing the head down. Maintain aliveness in the straight leg and keep the foot alert, opening the back of the knee and elongating the hamstrings.

Shashankasana Hare pose

Wonderfully restorative. Allow the shoulders to drop and relax. Spread and soften the hands. Exhale fully out of the back ribs. Maintain vigilence and alertness while surrendering deeply.

Makrasana Crocodile pose

A great way to pause and soften the back of the body before investigating back bends. The forehead rests on interlaced fingers allowing the back of the neck and upper spine to lengthen. Big toes touching cause an outward rotation of the hip bones; freeing the sacrum and releasing the tail bone.

Supta matsyendrasana Supine spinal twist

Magnificent lumbar twist. Delivers double benefit: A relaxation response as the body receives full support from the ground. All twists are energising and here the breath can flow freely into the side ribs.

Be free with the arms. Take your gaze to the fingers of the outstretched hand, keep the face soft, maintain presence.

Venue: Yelverton Barn,  Meare Court Farm, Wrantage nr Taunton, Somerset

To arrange a group yoga session at this venue, visit www.somersetspa.co.uk or call Liz on 01823 480570

For other locations contact me directly.

Alternatives to the sticky yoga mat

Traditional asana practice on rugs

Brightly coloured, tightly rolled sticky yoga mats; we all own at least one and they are usually the default choice for practice.

The modern mat is highly convenient:  light, portable and durable. I certainly reach for mine without any thought every morning. I had a reminder this week that other choices are indeed possible.

Concluding a session at a client's house, I bent to pick up my mat. There was resistance, Sticky mats, how aptly named. The mat was virtually glued to the floorboards, which had been recently varnished. I forcefully peeled it away. Messy.

When I returned the following week, I gingerly patted the floor. Still sticky. Perhaps there was a cotton rug we could use? A folded blanket or sheet? The improvised solution was a pair of single duvets; one each. Doubled over, pristine white, creating a zen like mood.

We had a restorative session, what else to do? The duvets were inviting us to relax deeply and surrender into softness. Utterly blissful.

We began seated, with the challenge of locating the sitbones under a layer of padding. Working on all fours was very easy and gave welcome support to knees, which often suffer with hard flooring. Most of the time was spent supine, maintaining presence and alertness while enjoying the duvet's soft embrace.
 
The sticky yoga mat is a recent western invention which has been successfully exported to India. In traditional environments one is more likely to practice on some kind of natural textile.

At an ayurvedic clinic in Kerala I received instruction upon a folded white sheet. This reflects the focus on breathwork and meditation characteristic of a classical approach to yoga.

Cotton mats are widely available

In Mysore, astanga vinyasa  practitioners typically double up; a modern sticky mat for stability and resistance in the standing sequences and also a traditional woven yoga rug. This absorbs perspiration, prevents skidding and is more comfortable for backbends and the finishing sequence.

For sensuality and authenticity a woven cotton mat is a great practice aid; the bright colours will lift your mood and your spine will appreciate the extra support.

I recall a Scaravelli yoga workshop in Devon with Bill Wood, we used folded woollen blankets to explore standing poses. This was taking mindfulness in asana to a new level; a very different conversation requiring radical honesty and revealing the full extent of ones ambition in the poses.
 
Each surface yields a different experience and different benefits. It is fun to vary one's practice and experiment with alternatives to the sticky mat. Refresh your perspective and enjoy the change of sensation.

Summer solstice living foods salad

Living mandala of Gaia's gifts

Wow, commented my neighbour, You should take a photo of that!  She had dropped by as I was  preparing lunch - a huge salad.

Making salad has become a ritual, absorbing and gratifying. I include significant amounts of raw plant foods which are alkalising, water rich and high in enzymes, anti-oxidants, phytonutrients. Living foods look and taste amazing, containing prana, chi, essential life force and subtle divine energies.

Now we are at midsummer, the sun energies are their most powerful. Ayurveda tells us this is the time of pitta, fire. Raw foods are recommended to cool any overheating and maintain seasonal balance. Noon, being the pitta time of day when our internal digestive fire agni is highest is the optimum time to eat raw foods. We pretty much know intuitively to eat salads for our summer lunches.

Early morning harvest

I am into rainbow colours, I love my food to look joyful and uplifting. I've been enjoying high levels of physical energy and vitality this solstice time and the exuberance of this fruity, alive food seem to be reflecting my happiness and vitality back to me.

Very little planning is required with salads, one simply selects what looks good and super fresh. I grow a variety of sprouts, herbs and edible flowers. I hunt around the garden for any unexpected goodies and am an avid forager. Sometimes I am gifted produce grown by friends, which seems to taste best of all!

Summer solstice living foods salad contains:

Nasturtiums are easy to grow from seed

Selection of leaves  
Baby sunflower greens
Alfafa sprouts 
Sprouted mung beans 
Sugar snap peas 
Cherry tomatoes
Chestnut mushrooms
Garden peas from pod
Nasturtium flowers
Fennel fronds
Raspberries 
Blueberries
Apple
Orange and yellow bell pepper
Soaked nuts and seeds : almond, pumpkin, sunflower, hazelnut

Dressing: pure fresh lemon juice, unpasteurised apple cider vinegar, flax oil, dried sea vegetables, ground black pepper and cinnamon

Tip : Soak nuts and seeds overnight in a small bowl filled with cold, pure water, rinse and drain before serving. This improves nutritional value and digestibility.

Selected living food links:

Read my about raw food journey on my (archived) blog
Ecstatic Raw

A great book, thorough discussion of the rainbow plant diet with many awesome recipes:
Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine

Fear and freedom at the dentist

I descended Glastonbury High St at great speed on my bicycle, heart pumping and mind racing. En route to the dentist; I was late. A brief doorstop chat with my neighbour on the way out; he noticed my earbuds. Blocking out the drill? He chuckled.

My first time with this dentist I held myself rigid in the treatment chair, internally bemoaning the sparse interior. Plain white walls; no photos or distractions. Gagh! In reception afterwards I bumped into a yoga student and her partner. It was his first trip to and he was wringing his hands and scanning the room like a hunted prey, Is it ok what's he like? He babbled and gulped.

A moment of insight emerged, I trust my dentist and more importantly I trust myself that I have chosen a good dentist. I trust the universe. I trust everything!  I dont know that the poor guy was able to take this on, but I was pleased with my shift of awareness.

Like most people, I have a chronology of dentists and dental treatments and can vividly recall the emotional states that accompanied them. Dentistry is by its nature invasive, we are making ourselves physically vulnerable, opening a soft tender spot where very few are invited. We may be in pain or distress and the medical surroundings and scary technologies compound anxieties.

As a young child, my mother arranged with our family dentist that we would receive toys after check-up. Nice try. Then as a pre-teen I spent two years in orthodontic braces, then a private treatment requiring monthly visits to the city; my treats were a visit to Miss Selfridge and afternoon tea in Debenhams cafe.

By far my best experience of dentistry took place in India. A yoga purist, devoted to the point of obsession with astanga vinyasa; there was only one place to study: Mysore in South India. A long term resident on a six month visa I had the time to face the neglected state of my teeth, unattended to during my twenties. I took a  recommendation from a glossy haired american with a perfect smile.

Thence begun several sessions of treatment; root canal, crown work, cleaning and filling. Nothing less than a restoration project. I have never felt so relaxed or at ease in the chair. The paradoxes of India, confusing and beautiful were everywhere: a hand sewn cotton surgical mask contrasted with a certificate proclaiming  proficiency in titanium implants, an assistant in Nikes recording my details in a Victorian style ledger.

Most touchingly, during check-up, Raj had asked me my preferred music. The Beatles. So as treatment took place I was soothed by the Long and Winding Road and other favourites, played on mono cassette, exquisite!

Back to the present moment. No, I wont be wearing earbuds. In my new found freedom of staying present and alert and welcoming all experience, I want all senses to be fully alive. I have found it helps to breath deeply and affirm silently to myself: I trust myself, I am taking really good care of myself, Everything flows effortlessly. If anxiety escalates I reach for a pleasant memory, singing on the beach with friends at sunset works like a charm. These techniques have enabled me to have three small fillings without anaesthetic; not because I like pain particularly, I choose to avoid medication.

Today I fluffed the timings, arrived late and we had to reschedule. In the past I would have spiralled into self-blame and criticism. Now I know differently. Hmm so what''s happening here? Self-sabotage? No I dont like the sound of that label. An act of self-love from the sub-conscious, a dry run, a necessary step between booking the appointment and actually taking treatment. I love that my sub-conscious is taking care of me!

Here's to clean, strong and healthy teeth and positive outcomes at the dentist for all!

Setting healthy boundaries with compassion and integrity

Boundaries are essential for emotional health

I am blessed to work in some amazing and diverse environments. As well as supporting private clients, during the last twelve months I have visited a luxury spa, several festivals including Glastonbury, local leisure centres, Somerset County Council, an ashram and several healing and retreat centres.

The need arises for positive working relationships with staff and managers. I have to understand and adapt to their ethos and systems.  I enjoy this aspect of my work and take satisfaction in maintaining professional standards of conduct and giving good service.

Overall, my experiences are harmonious: expectations are clearly communicated. I need to know when where I will be setting up, when, what treatments are to be given, what items I need to bring, the timings, how and when payment will be rendered and any special requirements. It is helpful to have maximum notice of dates and to know that the booking is firm.

Of course there are often variables; last  minute changes to client numbers, a change of venue; sessions may not always start on time. Skilfulness requires flexibility, the ability to surrender a little control and adapt positively; this can be fun and lead to bonding within the team as creative and satisfying solutions are found.

One particular place had become a constant challenge. More often than not, the work although well paid and regular would leave me tense, confused, drained and uncertain and was taking up far too much of my time and emotional energy.

The manager is great guy, positive and loving in nature with a broad vision and a desire to assist humanity. He operates creatively, in a flowing state of confusion, chaos and crisis management and somehow holds his enterprise together. I began to see that his success was coming at the expense of my health and sanity as time and again I yielded to his unpredictable nature.

Communications were erratic, treatments arranged and cancelled with very little notice. I would have to chase up payment and last time I worked for him he called me three days later to say he had overpaid me and needed some money back, although I had submitted a written invoice. This was beyond stressful, I was losing my health and sanity!

This is not about making the other person wrong. Indeed, what has been hardest is separating my personal feelings for someone I have known for several years, have tremendous respect and admiration for and genuinely care about.

Nor do I expect the other to change, to fit my expectations and my preferences. He is free to be himself in the fullest glorious expression and I celebrate that.

From a compassionate standpoint, the choices are made for me. Firstly I notice and give space to my feelings and reactions: in this case frustration, impatience, exhaustion, judgement and blame. Then I accept responsibility for the situation. This is happening to me now in my life and it is for me to address. How perfect is that? Find the gift: I created this set of circumstances as a teaching. How do I practice love and act from a place of integrity?

The next time I received an ambiguous request for a treatment I set my boundaries clearly as follows:  I am available at this time, this is my fee and could you please confirm by this time. The deadline for confirmation came and went, I extended by fifteen minutes and then turned off my phone. Rather than waiting anxiously, unsure as to whether I would be working the next day and so unable to make plans; I was going have an enjoyable evening and the morning to myself too! Blissful!

A phonecall came through the following morning. The treatment room had been readied, the client waiting, where was I? I calmly reminded him that I had asked for confirmation by 6pm. He listed communication problems and other factors. I felt a little twinge of guilt which passed quickly. I would have wished for a smoother outcome, I did ask you to let me know by 6pm, I was holding the time for you until then. No drama, no fear. I could feel my inner being dancing and celebrating this freedom I had allowed myself.

How do I safe-guard my precious resources? Not only my physical and emtional energies, also my personal integrity? I  honour myself on the deepest levels by saying no to situations that deplete and create stress.  Asserting my value and acting from a place of high self-esteem and self-worth regardless of the outcome. From this standpoint  it becomes impossible to tolerate behaviours and circumstances that I do not prefer and creates an opening in my life for that which I do prefer to show up.

Thoughts and affirmations: 

I love to work and be of service

I am more important than my work, my income, other peoples opinion of me

I experience harmonious relationships and great communication at work

I honour and respect all those who show up in my life; they are free  and I am free 

I meet all challenges with compassion and love for myself and all involved

Glastonbury festival 2011 : a mini-adventure

Healing Field

In 2007 I was interviewed by writer Jarvis Hammond for his book A Year of Festivals. He was travelling the globe attending a selection of hand picked, diverse events with the question What makes the perfect festival?

I can answer him now as I have just had the perfect festival experience. I'm skipping Glastonbury this year, but couldn't resist a brief site visit when Mark from Sams sauna called to invite me on.

I bussed to Pilton village in full festival regalia: trilby, bodywarmer, long socks, wellies. A shoulder  bag contained well rehearsed essentials: bottle of spring water, a towel, waterproof trousers, a change of socks, sunscreen. I didnt have a pass or a ticket, I figured that the gate crew would still be in fluffy early bird mode and let me through.

View down to railway tracks, Green Fields

Polished aviator shades, an earpiece and radio handset, shiny black bomber jacket: the security guard looked fearsome and efficient, he would be well within his rights to refuse me entrance. I trusted the higher law, that the universe would want me to have a sauna and hang out with my friends.

I suggested that he let me on and twirled my multi-coloured rainbow brolly in a submissive manner. If you're in a vehicle with a pass I havent seen you, was his gruff, benevolent reply. I retreated to the main gate  and looked for a likely lift.

I flagged down the Glastonbury Spring Water Company van, who declined me on account of their insurance. Fair enough. Moments later a muddy Landrover swung in, a face I recognised from ... somewhere. I grinned and waved enthusiastically. I know you, said the driver as he leaned across and opened the passenger door. I clambered in gratefully, finding space amongst sheepskins, water containers and piles of rope. He was local and I had taught yoga to his ex-wife.

We bounced along the tracks and I felt the excitement rising as I passed familiar landmarks, the bright nipple like points of the circus tent, the iconic pyramid stage. Rows and rows of toilets. The site was almost ready.

Craft field

As we passed Yeoman Bridge which leads to the Green Fields, it felt like a homecoming. The spaciousness and purity was breathtaking and despite recent heavy rain, the lush turf remained pristine and verdant, the tracks mercifully dry and mud free.

I enjoyed my sauna, it felt like a divine blessing to share the space with just one other person, Rose, a pretty, chatty teen. We shared a hot tub too. I craned my neck to absorb the majesty of the blue sky. I was happy, relaxed, feeling love. It was a perfect moment.

I met up with several friends who were crewing in other fields: Starcus with his infamous 50p Tea Tent; Les from Green Futures, an old, old friend who is very dear to me We discussed the summer ahead and he implored me to stay. Many hugs later I skipped joyfully across site and found myself at the bus stop in Pilton village.

Happiness is.... the company of good friends

It felt as though I had left a magic bubble and was re-entering the real world, whatever that is. My good fortune continued as almost instantly friends travelling back to Glastonbury town pulled up by the kerb and escorted me safely home.

As I walked home a neighbour called out, You're sparkling! In truth I was a little high. Enlivened and energised by the buzz of the festival and with an open, warm heart overflowing with emotional nourishment. A great vibration to hold within myself and radiate out to the world.

A perfect festival experience.

Find out more about Jarvis Hammond's project A Year of Festivals

Kitchen karma: releasing criticism

Sink side santosa

Emotional breakthroughs can happen at any place; any time. We may retreat to pristine natural environments and spiritual centres to create the conditions for expanded awareness; yet it is in day to day living that the evidence of progress shows up.

I have been struggling for a while with a couple of kitchen appliances. My landlady recently replaced my electric hob, the new model is woefully slow; seventeen minutes to boil a pan of water! During cooking, the heat will shut down and restart. It has been truly challenging. Many hunger fuelled epidsodes of frustration ensued: typically I would berrate the hob, criticise my landlady and blame myself.

Until yesterday. A half cooked omelette lay limply in a pan, as the hob clicked and thrummed feebly. My chest tightened in upset... and then I exhaled:  I didn't go there.  I had the following thoughts: Ah well, this is taking a long time. Its not the cooker's fault, it is doing its best. I had skirted negativity and found myself spontaneously expressing appreciation, which is a positive place to be.

This morning I was preparing my daily green juice. As I introduced a slice of fennel, the end shot off spraying the kitchen with green goo. Uh - oh another part  a needs replacing  Annoyance started to rise within as I mentally calculated the money spent on parts. Useless juicer, I'm always buying new parts. What a waste of money.

And then the shift again; it occurred to me that my juicer had served me well over a number of years. That replacement parts were available, reasonably priced and that I should be thanking my machine for the pretty reliable service in providing me with delicious, nutritious juices. Bingo!

It feels great to witness and acknowledge this new set of responses: the fruits of continuous practice. Listening to my teachers, reflecting on personal experience and actively cultivating positivity through mantra, affirmation and mindfulness.

Kindness is now my default setting, criticism does not belong.  I have opened a space of love and compassion for myself, reflected in my reactions and attitudes to life's daily challenges. Being in a good feeling space will influence what shows up in my life, positively affecting the circumstances and events I attract. Living from the heart feels good.

Affirmations:

I see the best in myself and in others

I appreciate myself

I am loving, kind and compassionate

I recognise my value and worth

I am a good person
May all beings dwell in the heart

Memories of Glastonbury festival

Nylon metropolis

Facebook friends have already begun posting photos and updates as they excitedly arrive to set up what is surely the greatest festival of them all. This year I won't be joining them; I'm taking a break from Glastonbury, which I have worked continuously since 2007.  And I don't know that I'll return.

Glastonbury festival entered my consciousness in the late eighties. An earnest law undergraduate, the utter mayhem and round the clock partying did not appeal.  I had adventurous friends who went;  disappearing and reappearing days later, smellier, dirtier and having clearly undergone a rite of passage.

In the nineties, a chic and affluent city buddy arranged a jaunt from London; I paid my ticket but had to drop out due to a domestic emergency; I see now that fate was playing its hand; my first experience of Glastonbury would have to wait.

Beautiful spirit of early festivals

Several years later I found myself meandering along a disused railway line near the village of Pilton, Somerset.

I had just moved to the area and was walking with a friend. I didnt consider myself to be particularly psychically attuned; nonetheless I distinctly recall the feeling of excitement, of being a little high! We had unknowingly meandered on the festival site, treading where so many had whooped, skipped and danced. I could feel it in the air!

For two winters and one glorious summer, I lived a stones throw from site in a low impact community. I developed a personal and special relationship with the land; it was calm and peaceful for nine months of the year and the permanent stone circle was an obvious weekly pilgrimage and great place to take visiting friends.

During the colder months I often collected firewood on the farm; enjoying the freedom to roam across empty, open fields.  In early May the build would begin. A small camp could be seen in the Kings Meadow,  a small fire. We reciprocated with our Beltane fire,  two tribes connecting across opposing hills.

Stone Circle 1990s

Then the fencing would go up, an epic task, many, many miles of shining aluminium to delineate festival boundaries. Every year a little more land would be enclosed.

By early June the site was very active. We were kept awake as heavy plant vehicles lumbered and thrusted into the night establishing the infrastructure that supports a veritable small city, a temporary population of close to a quarter of a million.

For several happy seasons I would erect my geodome in the healing field, the quietest cleanest corner of the blissful green fields where many come for respite from commercial activity and stimulation. I would often chuckle to myself as I practised early morning yoga, watching the bemused litter crew making their matinal sweep and leaving empty handed.

Beloved Green Fields

My work as a therapist felt important. I gave countless massages and facials. Bodywork at festivals calms the senses, grounds and restore wellbeing. How may have taken their first massage at Glastonbury?

Treatments were popular and I also looked after crew, friends from other fields with sore backs from hammering and sawing rudimentary structures and handling enormous canvases. I felt rewarded, happy and fulfilled.

I  witnessed transformations in those Green fields. As though entering a  magical realm streetsmart  youth abandon brands and designer labels to romp and frolic in vintage clothing, a leopard skin coat, some bunny ears, a tutu! My deepest joy came from watching adults lose their cool and rediscover their playful nature. I love that the ticket holders bring unlimited optimism and expect to have a good time!

Adults at play!

My favourite memories?  Early morning saunas and late night sunsets, quiet moments connecting with friends.

The poignant return of Edwin Collins in 2008, still in recovery from a stroke. The surrealism of  massaging a client as Chas and Dave insistently banged out Rabbit Rabbit  nearby.

All good things must come to an end and I knew as I packed up at the end of 2010 that I didnt want to return. It had been a near perfect event; hot, sunny and just lovely. I was changing and becoming increasingly sensitive to my environment: Glastonbury is full on, intense, overwhelming and it was time for me to move on.

Me (right) and friend 2010

I love that I was able to take part and make a contribution to festival that is as old as I am; an institution of British cultural history!

It is satisfying to let go with ease and grace knowing that my festival friends and family will be carrying on as usual and that the event is sure to continue and grow.

As I write, I am relishing quiet time at home and enjoying smaller projects. I live in Glastonbury town am curious about what happens during the festival, a giant commercial and creative vortex which sucks in local talent; I wonder who else will be staying behind?

If you are involved in 2011 have an amazing time!

 

Links
Official website www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk

Fascinating, evocative  footage of early gathering
Glastonbury Fayre 1971

Polished and professional movie homage from Julien Temple
Glastonbury (2006)

Staying in the calm zone: a moment by moment practice

As a mountain lake, I am deep and serene

This morning, I treated myself to a bouquet of yellow lillies; I imagined them bouncing, nodding and illuminating my room with a sunny glow.

Unwrapping them, I  noticed that a few of the heads had fallen off. Ah well, that's ok, no big deal Wow! So proud of my effortless equanimity. Then it became clear that I had decipatiated most of the precious blooms and as I arranged the largely bare and stunted stems, my heart plummeted.

The hounds of negativity began to gather at my door, yet I remained calm and loving. Wow again. In past times, before the inner work I would have besieged myself with self-destructive thoughts such as: Look what you've done, this is your fault, you were carrying far too much too much, should have paid more attention, what a waste of money, who do you think you are buying flowers for yourself?

I did allow myself to feel disappointment. Emotional freedom is not about denying or suppressing, pretending that things dont exist; that creates damage. There is an honouring, a welcoming of all feeling. The trick is to observe difficult emotions and let them pass. The harm comes through holding on, dwelling in the difficult emotion, identifying with it, tethering it to ones reality. One up to me!

Round two: the phone rang.  I recently cancelled an insurance policy and the company called to check my status, even though I had sent in a written declaration. I begun to fume inwardly and while I replied politely to the agent I was thinking, This is so vexing! What a waste of my time! How dare you call so pointlessly and intrude on my day? Again, awareness was present, so mercifully I allowed myself to feel the frustration and to let it flow out.  A return to calm.

The teachings of Eckhart Tolle have been massively helpful in this regard. I have absorbed hours of content and appear to have saturated myself to the extent of now hearing the master in my ear; Be the ever vigilent guardian of your inner space. I was pleased when Louise Hay joined us, soothing and affirming, Deep within the center of my being is a mountain lake, deep and serene  I win again!

I finally cracked this afternoon when I cycled through the rain to meet a yoga client who, due to mutual misunderstanding, was not home. I had gotten wet earlier that day and had rushed lunch to get to the session. This was too much! I took myself home and let the feelings flow, sobbing freely and releasing the tension of the day.

This was also ok, I am learning a new way of relating to myself.  Maintaining calm is a moment to moment practice; a series of gentle micro course corrections, removing oneself from stress and negativity, letting go and re-establishing a mood of loving kindness. It is not about being perfectly calm in every moment; after all every lake experiences turbulence and even mountains suffer avalanches. There will always be bumps in the road!

The core issue is cultivating a steady centre, a new identity  based on self-love and compassion, a safe and secure inner place to return to, no matter what shows up. The more I am able to cope with low level challenges and remain whole, the more I will be able to live a full and amazing life. If I can handle whatever comes my way then there really are no limits...

SOS Skincare! Natural toners

Venus, radiant goddess of love and beauty

I received this message on facebook from a friend in her late teens, as follows:

The other day, I made up a kind of skin toner with green tea, chamomile tea, and apple cider vinegar - about one part vinegar to 5 parts water. I dabbed it on my skin twice a day for about three days, and then I broke out in dozens of tiny spots around my chin area, and a few in other places too. 

My skin is feeling quite itchy and painful, even though I've been moisturising well. I've never had anything like this before. I was wondering if it's possible this reaction could just be my skin purging impurities, or if one of the ingredients was too astringent and I'm just reacting badly to it? Have you had any experience with these things? 

Firstly I salute all those who turn to natural skincare solutions, it makes so much sense to offer the skin ingredients which it can recognise and assimilate. The skin has several functions, one of which is protection. It defends the body from unwanted agents. In this scenario, there looks to be a direct cause and effect. The skin is irritated and is saying 'no' to the solution.

The function of toner is to refresh the skin after cleansing and temporarily tighten pores, producing the toned effect. My friend is prone to breakouts therefore I would suggest witch hazel extract, available in most chemists and health food stores. This has an astringent or drying effect.

My other suggestion is rosewater, which has a destressing effect and works well for drier and aging skin although it suits all skin types. I specifically recommend Nature's Aid Triple Strength Rose Water. This is my personal preference as a toner; I  decanted into an atomiser and mist it onto my face. Such is a beautiful ritual, I love how the delicate scent fills the air and settles on my face, like being kissed by a host of angels!

Finally, my friend should drink her chamomile tea and green tea, they are both excellent from a health point of view. And apple cider vinegar, especially if it is the raw, unpasteurised type is a valuable tonic. I use daily, liberally on my lunch time salads. And as a full time undergraduate living in London, I celebrate that she has these healthful items in her cupboard.

Suggested affirmations:

I am tender and gentle with myself
I have happy, healthy skin
I create harmony within and without

I am happy to offer guidance with natural skincare issues, post your questions below.

Authentic decision making

Earlier this week, a potent cocktail of dread, guilt, and confusion surfaced with the realisation that I did not want go to a gathering where I had been booked to teach yoga. The suggestion not to go was emanating from the part of me I increasingly prefer to rely on for direction: my intuition, inner being, higher self, source energy.

Intuition often manifests viscerally, seemingly from within the body, a tug, a sensing of 'yes' or 'no'.  I am learning to respect and  follow this subtle voice, for too long ignored, misunderstood, undervalued and overridden.

The intuition was accompanied by an old, familiar emotional reaction as my mind set out the reasons why I should attend the gathering. I must  honour my commitment to the organisers and the event,  I am a good teacher and my skills would enhance the event, the other yoga teachers would be overstretched, I was withdrawing late and clumsily, it was unprofessional, I would miss out on making new connections, so many of my friends and community would be there, how could I not go? Unthinkable.

In psychotherapy this voice is named critical parent. If as young children we received critical parenting we will likely absorb and reconstitute the voice within. My critical parent minimises my achievements, downplays my need for creativity, play and relaxation.

I fell into a purgatory of self-doubt and guilt creating a miserable state of decision paralysis lasting two days and nights. I lost sleep and became acutely aware of the damage I was inflicting on myself  through perpetuating an emotional inner conflict and a physical stress response. I further increased my misery by self-serving up hefty portions of self-blame and judgement, the critical parent again.

Resolution came when I was, at last, able to step outside the jumble of emotions and reactions. Finding space around the issue was a great relief. I was able to see the shape of what I had created: an inner battle of control mind versus intuition; critical parent versus nurturing parent; self-care versus self-abandonment. Having committed myself to the practice of integrating and honouring my higher self it was an easy decision, once the drama had fallen away there was no choice.  I was staying home.

As a reforming people pleaser it can feel strange to choose myself over others.  This newness has in the past tempted me to conclude that I have a mistake, what is this strange feeling? Pretty quickly I received an inner validation, sensations of joy, relaxation and happiness filled my being. It was a precious, holy moment as I understood that my inner being was acknowledging and thanking me for the work I was doing. I entered a beautiful state of grace and basked in it.

The weekend is unfolding into a glorious mini-retreat, 100% me time, a gift from myself, to myself. I am enjoying relaxed easy days, looking after myself really well and leaving my time as unstructured as possible.

When we empower ourselves to make changes in the way we take decisions, we realign with a deeper authenticity, our true self, enhancing our personal integrity, rediscovering our wholeness.

Suggested affirmations:

I trust myself and I take decisions with ease.

I follow my inner guidance. 

I am loved and supported by life and the universe. 

Shimshai plays Glastonbury : Concert review

The gig opened offically with the chanting of three aums, by which time a high vibrational aura of incense, raw chocolate,  spring water,  breastfeeding babies and bare feet was well established. The clean, pure and spiritually inclined of Glastonbury gathered to celebrate life, music and the divine connection last night at United Reform Church on the High Street.

I enjoyed being able to saunter into town into such a modest venue and be entertained and uplifted for a very reasonable fee by a master musician whose commitment and creativity greatly inspire.  Shimshai's music is  profoundly important; he is an outstanding lyricist whose talent lies in precisely and succinctly identifying the spiritual truths of our time; creating fresh, memorable songs celebrating our reconnection to nature and spirit, consciousness awakening  and emotional healing.

I found myself surrounded by numerous friends,  many of whom compose, perform and lead devotional song in their own right. Supporting was the much loved local collective Avalon Roots,  headed by Green Bean, laying out soulful, funky smooth grooves. Green went on to provide percussion for Shimshai who was also joined on flute by Harmony (Hilary Davies) highly accomplished Cambridge music graduate who is very active within the community, teaching, holding singing groups and gigging with her latest band Tatterdemalion locally and on the alternative festival circuit.

Shimshai flowed his material together and is clearly a practiced a performer. Many of his compositions have become instant classics; spiritual anthems of the new age. He travels extensively  with an enviable international itinerary of festivals, retreats and sacred sites.  Further info on his website. If you are quick, you can catch him at Sunrise Celebration this weekend in Somerset.

 

I have added a link below to my current favourite Shimshai track, performed at the Dead Sea, how amazing is that?