Stress, Spirituality and the Shift

How are you doing? Enquired my housemate, genuinely concerned. I am preparing for a long trip overseas and there is much to be done on a practical level.

I'm ok, really ok My words came as a complete surprise to me! As my thoughts aired through speech I hardly recognised myself: I felt calm, peaceful and relaxed.

How could this be? I had so much to do! I had not managed to keep up with my to do list, I had experienced a couple of setbacks earlier in the day.

I had every reason to feel stressed, emotional, anxious and overwhelmed. And yet.... I felt good! This was new and unfamiliar.

I'm no stranger to stress: stress has permeated and coloured most of my life. I witnessed my parents overworking and projecting their frustrations onto myself and my siblings, which we duly internalised. I then created lots and lots of stress for myself as a young adult. Firstly through setting and achieving seemingly unfeasible academic goals. And then spending  years collecting promotions and taking on increasing levels of responsibility in inner London education. I eventually burnt out, retraining in holistic arts: yoga and bodywork.

Yet the stress followed me into my new life; unseen and silent, I let stress continue to devour me and drain my energy on all levels.

Stress is the plague of the modern world, who doesn't suffer from stress? Sadly, stress is the norm and accompanies much of our daily experience.

I have come to know stress pretty intimately. My definition would be a set of physiological and emotional responses to challenging conditions. 

Typically, there is a feeling of overwhelm, of circumstances being out of control, of lacking the time or resources to meet the situation. Being unable to cope. Caught in a stress reaction, we fixate and magnify the situation out of all proportion and risk spiralling into a vortex of negativity.

In my work I have become skilled at relaxing the physical body, it is useful but not enough. On my journey of healing I have come to see that holistic therapies and bodywork can only take me so far; right now the work is taking place on the inner level.

Stress is a choice, a reactive pattern, we have repeated time and time again that we assume it is a fixed response. We don't realise we are choosing it:  we feel as though it is choosing us. Because it is a choice, we have it in our power to change our response and transform our relationship to the situation.

My practise is is to avoid tipping over into the stress reaction and inhabiting the stress zone which wreaks havoc on the body, emotions and causes a detachment from spirit, a separation from the inner being,  a shut down. This is quite simply too high a price to pay.  And I no longer consider stress to be inevitable, I challenge its hold over me and my life force.

I am suggesting that the antidote to stress is TRUST. An inner knowing that circumstances will regulate themselves, that we can cope and all will be well, even though we don't in the present moment know how. The universe, divinity or one's own higher self will ensure a positive outcome.

Todays example: I had ordered a pair of walking shoes online, they were a real bargain and alas when arrived they didn't fit. I started to tell a negative story,  They don't fit, this is terrible! I can't afford an expensive pair, I don't have left enough time to get a replacement sent out, it's my fault and so on. I started to embroider in everything else I had to do, there simply wasn't enough time!  I could feel myself on the verge of panick and anxiety.

I caught myself, detached from the reaction and told myself a different story: It was going to be so easy to organise a refund, I was dealing with a retailer who always gave superlative customer service. I would find another pair of walking shoes, I didn't yet know how, but I knew that the Universe would bring me a solution.

Peace dawned on me: I knew that everything was going to be ok. Letting go of stress is a huge deal. When I am able to do this, I feel lighter, freer, calm and relaxed. The real me!

I am learning to let go of the paradigm of the supremacy of the rational mind, whereby we expect to solve all our problems by thinking and planning, skills which only work some of the time and leave us mentally and emotionally exhausted and ultimately unsatisfied.

I choose to let go of  struggle

In expanded consciousness, we live an integrated spirituality,  broadening one's understanding to include a benevolent cosmic force that is always on our side and operating to produce the highest good for all.

Which means that the poor, long overburdened thinking mind no longer has to bear the full weight of responsibility for our decisions and choices in life. Everybody wins!

This is the shift in awareness that humanity is currently being asked to make: Do we choose a fear based reality (stress) or love based reality (trust)? The loneliness of the illusion of separateness or the joy of co-creation?

Which do you prefer?

Blessings of calmness and clarity

Jennifer

Taking Time Out for Myself

Enjoying quiet time at home

I'm getting good at listening to myself, understanding and honouring the messages from within. For the last couple of weeks I have felt the need to rest at home quietly and spend time with myself.

This is quite beautiful, as it resonates with the rythmic cycle of the seasons and the slow yet obvious sloping away of energy as we turn to face the autumn equinox and beyond that the darkening into winter in the northern hemisphere as we rotate away from the sun.

I have a practice of self-honouring and self-care, by which I mean I commit to looking after myself, as a sacred contract, which I renew daily in the form of prayer, meditation or affirming intention.

This subverts years, decades of patterning and behaviour during which the opposite was true; I gave up listening to myself, I was woefully unaware of my true needs and would override any inner messages that managed to get through.

I made everything more important than myself; work especially, also other peoples needs. I had a definition of my own needs which tended to decrease rather than support health: the mixed blessings of the modern age which mercifully we are now waking up and reconsidering: status, shopping, rich food and all kinds of indulgences.

My physical and emotional self suffered and eventually collapsed under the strain, leading to recurrent episodes of chronic fatigue, burn out and depression. My spiritual self was ever present I guess but buried within and lost to me; I was lost to myself.

Early signs of autumn: time to turn inward

I have loved myself back to health and happiness and reconnected with my inner being. Staying true to my whole self is a full time job and even now, I can feel guilty about prioritising my clear and obvious need for rest and quiet time, when I feel that I should be engaged more actively with the world.

This success mentality, the attitude of doing, imposing goals, timetables and outcomes leads to imbalance not only in the individual experience but collectively too. Its a big one to shift and I need to acknowledge myself when I intervene and act preventatively. Which I am beginning to do more easily.

So when I received two potent dreams on consecutive nights, both indicating fatigue I knew I had to stop. Firstly, a refridgerator fully iced in; my laptop embedded within, frozen. Either I was going to seize up or I needed a break from writing and the internet.

Secondly, wading uphill in Glastonbury town, through knee deep water feeling too tired to continue: meaning I was getting  burnt out in town; time to pull back.

This time, the guilt was minimal and I allowed myself to enjoy this special time; a retreat at home.

Living in a small and interconnected dynamic community of Glastonbury, complete seclusion was unrealistic. Two days into my exile, even the meter reader from the power company felt the need to tell me, unprompted, all about her healing experience at Chalice Well!

I am getting comfortable with setting personal boundaries. I have let go of worrying that friends will feel excluded or rejected. I say; I'm taking a some time out at home, I'll give you a call in a few days and we can do something lovely together.

I get positive feedback on this, such as Wow you are really looking after yourself, or I should really do that! Take good rest

Nurturing the Inner Self

So I keep my home clean and uncluttered and bring in fresh flowers, burn incense and candles, throughout the day. The computer is resting too, unplugged. I meditate upon deities; Shiva and Ganesha, the Goddess of the Ganga. I practice yoga asana, I chant and pray.

I rest deeply in my own presence, giving myself the quality time and attention I deserve.

I sit in the garden, face upturned to catch the still warm delicious golden rays of the Spetember sun. I forage  in a nearby abandoned orchard, collecting armfuls of tiny apples, blushed pink.

I recall how I sang bhajans under a particular tree with friends in early spring as the blossoms were forming and we looked forward to the summer ahead.

Eschewing electric light, I take myself to bed as the sun sets, free of the restraints of clock time and rise before dawn, opening the doors to receive the day.

Early morning walking the circumference of Glastonbury Tor and receiving the energising morning prana as the sun's appearance burns away the mists of Avalon while still sleepy sheep huddle against the slopes of this holy hill.

My dreams became more vivid and my ablity to feel deeply and receive intuition becomes heightened, I begin to feel restored.

Then the call back to a fuller engagement: the feeling of wanting to connect and share with others. The urge to write and a wonderful dream: of newly de-cluttered kitchen cupboards, I open them all to find order and spaciousness and there is an accompanying feeling of contentment and wellbeing: Meaning I have created some much needed internal space.

I am now ready to resume and rejoin the flow of life, relaxed and feeling peaceful once more. I wonder what's next....?

Intentions and affirmations

I listen with love to my body's messages (Louise Hay)

My intuition is always on my side

My dreams are a valuable source of wisdom  and guidance to me

I give myself permission to slow down and stop

I take really good care of myself at all times

Tine with myself is precious and wonderful

My friends are understanding and supportive of my needs

It is safe to let go

I am nourished by quiet time with myself

Why not give yourself permission to slow down and stop?

Peaceful blessings,

Jennifer

Fasting from technology

Beloved netbook

I admit freely that I love technology, especially digital communications. I own three mobile phones, an mp3 player and a netbook, I even organised myself a wifi modem whilst living on the beach in India.

This may not be much technology, it may be a normal amount, it might sound like a lot. In other areas of life I find myself drifting back to low tech solutions: a manual juicer over an electric model, bicycle over car. I do find a computer to be essential: I'm a blogger after all.

So when my netbook got damaged at the weekend and was collected for repair on Monday, I became quite anxious, it was an unplanned loss. Just back from yoga camp I had a camera full of photos to upload, a blog post in mind and several new connections to follow up by email.  I wanted to hang out on facebook too!

I was without my computer for just over forty eight hours and it was quite a teaching. Day one: I used my free time to practice some new songs and revisit Patanjali's yoga sutras. Positive.

Day two was tough, I had enjoyed the break, but felt it was time to get plugged in again. I used the library computers for a thirty minute internet fix, which was long enough to check emails and not much more. I began to feel agitated.

There was uncertainty about the length of repair, as a replacement part was on order. I feel embarassed to admit how anxious I did feel. I was used to the presence of the flickering screen, instant access to my vast library of music, audio books and film. I had to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I was experiencing withdrawal!

Loving the radio again

I retrieved an old school analogue radio from a storage trunk and tuned in to BBC Radio Three. I was instantly soothed by the calming music.

I used to listen to Radio Three in every waking moment, before I got heavily into devotional music myself. I was reminded how awesome classical music is, high vibrational, healing and written by extremely creative individuals, often inspired by deep emotion and divinity.

My netbook and me were reunited a short while ago. The screen has been replaced, it is glossy, new and bright. My software has been tweaked a little too and upgraded, its a good result.

Other outcomes: A reminder about mindfulness and self-responsibility. An opportunity to check in with myself regarding a pattern of behaviour and make adjustments. I'm reinstating a weekly technology free day, most likely Sunday. I know that I used to do this, somehow I disconnected from the practice. The netbook will remain unplugged, no mp3 player either. 

Benefits:

• Reduced stimulation of the mind and senses, desirable from a yogic point of view and physiologically would promote lower stress levels. 

• Leading to increased creativity or just space 'to be'.

• Lowered electricity consumption benefits all. 

• And I will appreciate and respect my technology more.

The radio stays; I'm re-enamoured with Radio Three, right now I'm listening to a bio of avant garde twentieth century American composer Samuel Barber.

www.bbc.co.uk/radio3

If you are in the Glastonbury area and need IT support I highly recommend  Ashley Brook for prompt, courteous and efficient service for a very reasonable fee

www.thecomputerhelper.bravehost.com

Celebrating health with positive role models

Jennifer Aniston: naturally healthy at 42

Evidence of positive shift is everywhere.  The received notion of degenerating health, onset of chronic disease and incremental loss of vitality as we age is completely unappealing and redundant. New concepts abound, such as longevity, wellness and anti-aging.

Of course there are plenty of statistics pointing to increasing levels of obesity, diabetes and heart disease. Alternatively, one can focus attention upon what is going well, is improving or has become radically transformed. And not just in holistic circles; mainstream media is reporting the changes; the Daily Mail last week claiming  forty five is the start of a golden age of health.

Today I choose to acknowledge and celebrate the new wave of women in their forties and beyond who embody radiant health and aliveness and show us the way to journey through life with the ease and freedom.

Jennifer Aniston is such a person and one of my role models. I don't covet her wealth, wardrobe or celebrity status. I am impressed by her clear commitment to her health; her discipline, that she has made her wellness a priority. Jennifer expresses a glowing natural radiance and is so at ease in her body appearing happy, confident and relaxed.

It is often remarked that Jennifer is improving with age. What a great concept! Jen looks good and enjoys after looking her body. She adopts a steady, sensible and holistic approach to exercise and diet.

Elle McPherson is often cited in discussions of fitness, health, beauty and aging. Her success also has a spiritual grounding:  I eat a lot of organic food and drink lots of water, and I take time for meditation to set up my day. Beauty comes from within'

I just watched a short interview with Jennifer recorded yesterday for Good Morning America. How does she keep fit? Spinning, yoga and circuits... Keep it moving!  And why? I feel better when I'm fit, it changes your energy and your spirit.

Yes, yes and yes again. I too love to move and be active, my body thrives when I exercise and I know that keeping fit is a dedicated act of self-care.

Feeling inspired, I called my local gym to enquire into classes. With strong mid summer solar energy I am seeking a fitness challenge. Something to add variety, to have fun and be playful.

I spoke with a dynamic and enthusiastic personal trainer, named Sarah, whose passion poured out during our phone conversation. I'm fifty and I feel great. I teach a number of challenging classes, you should try my kettle bells workout.  

Sarah eulogized about the benefits of exercise. I nodded and uh huh'd . It was a vitality boost just speaking with her and she generously offered me a couple of trial classes. Another role model! I am looking forward to meeting her.

Affirmations:

I am vibrant and healthy

I am glad to be alive

My body is thriving

Every cell of my beautiful body radiates health and wellness

I love to exercise

Resources:

Daily Mail article  Why 45 is the start of a Golden Age of Health
Elle McPherson article 
Interview with Jennifer Aniston  on You Tube 
Train Station Gym, Glastonbury
Dr Christiane Northrup holistic physician with expertise in women's health