Self-love as spiritual practice

What does self-love mean to you?

I posted this image on my personal facebook and received a torrent of positive feedback from friends. I decided to sit with the question What does self-love mean? 

Self-love is a complete statement that requires no qualification or definition. As an idea or concept it is fully satisfying in and of itself. I find it pleasing, comforting to roll the phrase around my consciousness. Invite the vibration in now for yourself. Self-love,  I love myself  How does that feel? Pretty good yes?

In a recent, powerful dream I stood  alone in the centre of a room, surrounded by menacing invaders, growing closer and closer.  My heart was a glowing pink crystal pulsating in my chest and I was affirming I love myself, my heart is open.  In the dream I grew tired, but maintained my defences. 

Meaning? Positive loving thoughts and an open heart create a steady centre from which to keep negativity at bay. Maybe my psyche is reflecting back to me the results of my endeavours, hours and hours of positive affirmations, listening to teachings and soul work. My heart chakra is working! Its an upgrade from dreams of being chased, terrorised and hunted down by evil assasins. I'm also using the dream as a teaching, a reminder of how to behave towards myself when feeling stressed or challenged by life.

Nourish yourself with the vibration of love

I have experienced self-love as a state of being, a feeling spontaneously arising within. Words can't always justice to such powerful sensations but maybe self-love is something like warm honey flowing from the chest and emanating throughout my whole being. I feel happy, secure and cared from and I am grateful that my inner being and myself are consciously connected and communicating. 

Equally, self-love can be an attitude, a perspective, something to be cultivated. A choice to be made, moment to moment. Something I can choose to defer to, to invoke, to meditate upon, to summon from within. In other words a spiritual practice in its own right.

I am getting better at watching my thoughts, and in particular thoughts about myself that are critical, harmful and judgemental. Negative stories I am creating and reinforcing. On one hand, yes witness them, give them space and detach from them, I can also choose to love myself as well. Love can always be invited it as a higher presence.

Example, five minutes ago as I am blogging this, a neighbour knocked on my door, asking to use my printer. Right now? I asked, I'm in the middle of writing something and I want to keep in the flow.

Green Tara

Apparantly it was urgent. We had recently reconciled following several weeks of low level energy draining tension. I wanted to preserve this newly hatched and fragile harmony and capitulated. 

Suddenly this guy was in the bosom of my private space and I felt mad! Angry with him and myself for having weak boundaries. Why did I let him in? I should have been firmer. I was really, really upset.

I recalled the dream and summoned the vision of the pink crystal heart I love myself, My heart is open In the moment I couldn't extend to loving and accepting him, it was enough to work on myself. This is always enough.

Alongside more vigorous sounding virtues such as courage, confidence and passion, self-love could seem softer and passive, yet it is profoundly powerful. Self-love is a core skill, much overlooked but now featured on the curriculum of  humanity's great re-learning, it certainly shows up regularly for me as a soul teaching.

What are the attributes of self-love? Sharon Saltzberg, esteemed Buddhist teacher speaks of kindness in her book The Force of Kindness, I feel that she could be speaking of self-love when she says, 

I really do believe that it is one of the most powerful forces in the world and liberates us and helps to free others... 

 It's a quality of attention and care, a steady presence in our lives of unconditional caring.

We are all quite capable of it, it's a capacity inside for wisdom, kindness and connection, that is never ever destroyed. It maybe covered over, maybe hard to find, maybe hard to trust, but it's there.

We are returning to that capacity, we are learning to abide there and to nurture it, to really bring it forth into our lives.

Suggested practices for self-love:

Lotus mudra

Open yourself to the idea of self-love, allow yourself to know that you can get there, results will follow and that the practice is worthy in its own right, regardless of outcome.

Discipline and commitment are required.

Self-love and I love myself are affirmations to be used as a mantra: Focus your mind upon the phrase, concentrate and repeat, internally or aloud.

I sometimes practice without words, invoking the feeling of self-love directly as a sensation.

Use mudra, sacred hand gestures, to direct the flow of subtle energies around the body. All mudras are good, Lotus mudra, is great (pictured) Keep hands level with the heart centre, fingers lightly touching. Variation: spread both hands wide and place flat across the heart area, left below right. Inhale and exhale through the heart to strengthen and purify.

Beautiful music assists in opening the inner portals. As I write, I am listening to Celestial Yoga from Johnathan Goldman's album Inner Light.

Kwan Yin

For full cosmic power, work with a deity, Green Tara, the Buddhist mother goddess of compassion was my first thought. Kwan Yin is another female boddhisattva represented across Eastern traditions and is said to dwell in the heart centre. 

Energize your practice by lighting a candle, burning incense.

Repeat your mantra inside your head last thing at night as you fall asleep and in the morning upon awakening, before you open your eyes. At these times the subconscious mind is most receptive. 

Rose quartz crystal is associated with love and heart healing, I have one beside my bed.

Thank you for reading. I hope that this is helpful, there is so much to explore around the idea of self-love and I would like to keep this conversation flowing. I warmly invite you to comment and add your personal experience, below or via email.

Blessings from the heart

Jennifer

www.sharonsalzberg.com Lots of free resources and links to purchase Sharon Salzberg's materials

www.healingsounds.com Musician and sound healer Johnathan Goldman's site