Boundaries, over-listening and energy management

Do you over listen to others?

What you have here is a drop system, began the plumber, tapping the pipes below the boiler. I could feel a lecture coming on. As he paused to take a deep inbreath,  I interjected swiftly, politely and definitely: I'm afraid you've already lost me.

He got the message and looked hurt. It was clear that he really wanted to explain the system to me. However I had neither the time nor motivation to listen. Most importantly I have found that overlistening exhausts me emotionally and energetically. Today as well as emptying the radiators, this innocent looking middle aged man could easily end up draining me, if I allow it.

Not only do I suffer in the present moment; overtime this pattern depletes physical health and wellbeing and ultimately contributes to weakened immunity, disconnection from the true self, chronic fatigue and burnout. I have worked on myself for a number of years to restore health and aliveness and refuse to compromise my wellbeing: I am too important!

The cues are always present if we are willing to listen.  
Signs that I am about to be drained emotionally/energetically:

My joy falls away
I get a contraction in my solar plexus
My head starts to feel heavy and dull
I feel anxious and panicky, wanting to escape

If I don't act to protect myself, in addition to above I may experience:

Headaches
Loss of physical energy and vitality
Disturbed sleep: difficulty falling asleep, early wakefulness
Dreams of being invaded in some way, home break-in or being aggressively pursued
Not feeling refreshed by sleep, physical dullness and fatigue

In her recently published work Emotional Freedom, Californian energy psychiatrist Dr Judith Orloff describes four types of energy vampires, archetypal personalities we may encounter. It is a useful read, and I recommend it. I also feel that the term vampire while explicit and immediate construes a sense of helplessness and passivity, victimhood. Undesirable.

My recovery has come from an attitude of empowerment and taking personal responsibility, without blaming or judging others.(Including myself!)

Time spent in nature heals and restores

Practical steps to restore energy.

Walk in nature; take in fresh air and unseen natural forces, breathe deeply!

Bathe to cleanse the physical body. Ideally wild water such as a natural spring, river or the ocean.

Burn incense or natural resins to purify your environment, open windows and doors to release stagnant energy.

Listen to and repeat a prayer, mantra or healing affirmation to clear your aura and calm the mind.

Visualise and reconnect to the feeling of light mood and limitless energy, remember a time when you felt this way.

Back to today's story. I quietly exited the kitchen, leaving the plumber to continue his work. I virtually skipped across the garden, a sense of  celebration and jubilation filling me from within. Sensations of  happiness and wellness, the inner being responding to self-love. The fruits of self-care, so sweet and precious and plenty of energy left to spend as I choose.